Monday, October 12, 2009

The Doctor Is In: Not!

My life is filled with countless opportunities for me to laugh out loud! This entry will be no different.

I don't know if I've ever established this or not but I was born and raised in rural Mississippi, i.e. The Country, where the living is still good in 2009. I wanna go back. Anyhoo, my roots are still there and I still eat "country food" cold cuts like hog head souse, bologna and liver cheese. Since I'm in Memphis, it is not too hard to find such in Wal-Mart.

Tonight I stopped in Wally World (Wal-Mart) and decided to get some liver cheese. As I searched the cold cuts for the delicacy, I did not see it. I asked the stock person, an older gentleman, standing in the section where he was hiding the liver cheese? He looked and said they were out! What? Who else is eating liver cheese but me?!!! Has someone else discovered it's likeness to pate! (I can't find the special characters pate deserves.) He offers me some bologna. I didn't come for bologna! I wanted liver cheese.

The following LOL dialogue actually occurred next:

Stock Clerk: (he turns to face me and says) Sometimes when I eat sweet potato pie. . .

Thoughts In My Head: . . .I sure hope he is not eating liver cheese or bologna with sweet potato pie!

Stock Clerk: it messes up for stomach for a few days and makes me go to the bathroom a lot.

Thoughts In My Head: WTF!

Stock Clerk: What do you think I should do?

Thoughts In My Head: Get Away From Me!

Me to Stock Clerk: Go to the doctor. But if you want some quick relief, drink some ginger ale or mix some water and a teaspoon of flour and drink it. This will settle your stomach. But remember, go to the doctor.

Stock Clerk: I've never heard of that before. Thank you so much.

Me to Stock Clerk: You are welcomed. But remember to seek medical advice. I am not a doctor.

I walked away wondering what made him talk to me. I guess he figured anybody buying liver cheese had to be from the country and probably had an old time remedy for whatever ails you! And he was right!

My grandmother turns 90 in a few days, and has all kinds of natural remedies. I don't know whether to attribute it to our Indian heritage or just being from the country but she could make pain go away. As a teenager, I had severe monthly cramps that would keep me in bed for 2 days. Anybody feel me? Pain! Big Mama would go into the woods behind the house and bring back this stick for me to chew. The first time she brought me this tree branch to chomp, I thought she had flipped out. But I never questioned her and chewed the branch like a deer. The pain went away. I've got to ask her this weekend the name of that tree!


Reggie said...

My grandmother turns 90 in a few months....she's the salt of the earth.

My father's side of the family is from rural Mississippi. He was born in Yazoo City and I have an uncle in Fayette and some cousins in Mound Bayou. All the family I have on that side of the family will devour a pig from the roota to the toota. Everything is pretty much fair game on a pig but the oink.

My father used to eat nutria and anything you might see on the side of the road. I can't eat all that shit myself, but I have a serious appreciation for my country cousins, both there and in Alabama.

I remember going in a grocery store in Louisiana once and being amazaed that there were pigs testicles in the meat section next to pork chops and whatnot. I remember thinking........who puts a price on that kind of shit?!?

Faye Lewis said...

Thanks for the nice complement about my blouse.

Poochie's Closet said...

The funniest shit I've read all day. I am literally sitting here LOL!

Random Thoughts said...

puuuuuuuuuuleeease tell me the name of that tree girl. I would have loved to known that when I was growing up. As I have gotten older I don't have pain like that anymore. I still want to know that name of the tree though. (LOL)

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